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Types of Breakups That Get Back Together

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5 min

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Published on:

Thu Jun 27 2024

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Last updated:

Thu Jul 04 2024

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Written by:

The Personal Development School

Not all breakups have to end in tears.

In fact, many types of breakups get back together, whether due to mutual understanding, personal growth, or external circumstances.

But first, to calm any nerves about the question, "Do couples actually get back together?" let’s look at what percentage of couples do it.

Do Couples Get Back Together?

Not surprisingly, there are a lot of studies that answer the question, “Do couples get back together?”. Let’s take a look at the keynotes:

  • YouGov stated that “44% of Americans say they've gotten back together with an ex after breaking up.
  • They also mentioned that "21% of people say they’ve broken up with someone and gotten back together more than once,” while "23% say they’ve done this once".
  • Furthermore, survey of 4534 participants aged 18 to 55 from The Good Men Project showed that 32% of exes got back together.
  • A study by Kansas State University (courtesy of The Modern Man) stated that “approximately 37% of couples living together, and 23% of married couples have broken up and then gotten back together again.

Now that we know it’s widespread for couples to reconnect, it’s time to look at the types of breakups that get back together.

breaking up and back together

Types of Breakups That Get Back Together

Breaking Up Over External Factors

Sometimes, couples break up over external factors and timing, such as one partner relocating for work, education, or family reasons. The long-distance nature of this relationship can be challenging, so many couples call it quits at this point.

However, distance or timing doesn't always diminish the love and connection. When circumstances or external factors are no longer a hurdle, both partners can get closer or get the timing right; the couples may reunited.

Breakups for Personal Growth or Self-Discovery

How could you be happy in a relationship if you're unhappy with yourself?

That’s why many couples call it off: taking a break from a relationship can allow individuals to focus on personal growth and self-improvement while offering a period of reflection and evaluation for the relationship.

For example, many people have abandonment issues which can cause friction in a relationship. But they work towards those issues, they can feel more comfortable and confidence in the relationship.

This space allows both partners to achieve their personal goals, gain clarity about their desires, assess their compatibility, address underlying issues, and determine whether they want to give their relationship another chance.

Amicable Breakups

Many couples realize that they don’t work — at that moment. Couples who part ways amicably, without harboring significant resentment or hatred, may find it easier to maintain a friendship post-breakup.

This open and platonic communication can actually lay the groundwork for getting back together. By staying connected and supportive, couples may gradually rediscover their bond and consider rekindling their romantic relationship.

Temporary Breakups

Remember Ross from Friends -- “We were on a break!”?

Well, that’s a common theme for many couples. Sometimes, couples just need a break from each other. This provides them with an opportunity to reevaluate their own personal priorities and goals while addressing any specific relationship issues or conflicts.

Alone time can help couples gain perspective, reflect on their feelings, and consider the possibility of getting back together.

“Unsure” Breakups

Being unsure about breaking up is one of the most common reasons exes get back together.

It’s similar to the “Heat of the Moment” or "on-off again" breakup. It’s an intense, emotional reaction, but the couple might realize they want to get back together when things cool down.

The time apart helps the couples that it might not have been the “right” decision to separate, and they could do more to reconnect the relationship.

An “Issues” Breakup

Breakups are commonly influenced by health challenges, whether mental (depression or anxiety) or personal (addiction). But these breakups do not signify the end of the relationship.

If the partner is willing to put the work into themselves and the relationship, they can reconnect on a deeper level. They can also work together to help the other partner.

Trauma can help strengthen their bond and rebuild their relationship based on understanding and empathy.

Married Couples

Marriage is a powerful connection that helps people remain together.

Whether it’s the commitment, the life they’ve built around them, or the children, married couples tend to reconcile more than most. They have something to fight for and are willing to go the distance to keep the relationship going.

Counseling or therapy can work towards resolving their differences and strengthening their marital bond.

Search and watch our playlist below to learn about how to get back your ex!

Why People Get Back Together After a Breakup

There are many reasons why couples decide to reconnect and get back together:

  • They still love each other deeply and have lingering feelings
  • They want to make the long-term relationship work
  • They believe they can overcome any issues
  • There is familiarity and comfort between the partners
  • There is a deep need for companionship
  • There is regret from both sides about the breakup
  • They gain insight into what went wrong and how to fix it
  • They undertook personal development and want to recommit

What to Do After a Breakup If You Want to Get Back Together

There are many occasions where time apart in a relationship offers a new perspective and entices the prospect of reconnecting.

So, what do you do when you want to get back together with an ex?

  • Give yourself time to recognize what is right and wrong in the relationship. Respect your ex-partner's need for space and time to process the breakup and allow emotions to settle.
  • Focus on self-improvement. Everyone can improve themselves, and becoming the best version of yourself can help the relationship enormously. Invest in activities that bring you joy, nurture your well-being, and contribute to your personal development.
  • If you wish to reconcile, you must communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and intentions. Express what you want in a relationship, your deal breakers, and how to work through any issues and rebuild the relationship with mutual respect and understanding.
  • Understand your attachment style, as this is important. Attachment styles have a powerful impact on the outcome of relationships, so it’s essential to recognize your and your partner’s. Instead of breaking up (which different for avoidants and anxiously attached), you might have to realign your styles a bit or become securely attached.
  • Getting professional help can address underlying issues and improve communication skills. Having professional advice and some relationship-building exercises can help rebirth the relationship.

If you want to help when it comes to reconnecting with your ex-partner, take our How to Repair Any Relationship course.

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