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How to Heal After a Breakup


Reading time:

6 min


Published on:

Tue Apr 16 2024


Last updated:

Wed Apr 24 2024


Written by:

The Personal Development School

Breakups can be emotionally challenging, leaving us feeling heartbroken and lost, especially after prolonged period of dating.

However, it's important to remember that healing is possible after a painful breakup. While the process may differ for each individual, there are certain steps that can guide us towards finding peace and renewal after a breakup.

In this blog post, we will explore practical strategies to navigate the healing journey and emerge stronger on the other side after a traumatic breakup.

But before we get to that, let's look at why breakups are so painful.

Why Do Breakups Hurt So Much?

Breakups, divorce, or separations are a shock to the system. It's one of the most stressful and emotional experiences in your life.

It turns your whole world upside down. That's because:

  • You lose stability in your life
  • You are now in uncharted territory
  • You lose your identity
  • Your routine and responsibilities are disrupted
  • You enter an unknown world
  • You feel lonely and lost.
  • You have thoughts that you might be single again for life

Whatever the reason for the breakup -- and whether it was the right call or not -- it's a painful process to go through. But you have to go through nevertheless, so you can take on life in a positive mindset.

Remember: you will get through this difficult experience and move on in life with a renewed sense of hope and optimism.

Here's how you can overcome your breakup.


8 Ways to Heal After a Breakup

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Acknowledge and accept your emotions. It's natural to feel sadness, anger, and even confusion. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the last relationship. Avoid suppressing your emotions; instead, express them in healthy ways.

Share your feelings with trusted friends or family, consider writing in a journal, or seek professional help if needed. Remember that healing begins with allowing yourself to process the pain. By acknowledging and honoring your emotions, you can begin to move towards a place of healing.

Practice Self-Care

During challenging times, self-care is crucial. Prioritize your physical and mental well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. Exercise regularly, eat nutritious meals, and get enough rest. Explore hobbies, take walks in nature, or indulge in a relaxing bath. Prioritizing self-care not only promotes healing but also reminds you of your worth and strengthens your sense of self.

Taking care of yourself is an act of self-love and allows you to rebuild your inner strength and resilience and help you become securely attached. You'll be able to conduct an emotional release, getting rid of negative feelings, and cultivating positive emotions.

Go "No Contact"

This is one of the best ways you can create distance between you and your ex. This process is when you completely cut off contact with your ex in all forms and in all ways. This helps create some distance and time for yourself.

However, for people with an anxious attachment it can be difficult to go "no contact". For fearful and dismissive avoidants, this is much easier due to their emotional processing. Regardless, going "no contact" for a period of time can be extremely healthy for yourself and the relationship in general.

Enjoy Your Alone Time

Suddenly, after a breakup, your world might completely open up. Depending on your situation, you'll find yourself with too much alone time. This can be daunting and terrifying as you have all the time in the world and no one to share it with.

But alone time is a powerful way to explore yourself and do stuff you want to do. In many relationships, partners just don't have the time alone to find themselves. Now, you have that opportunity to explore what you want in yourself, your life, and in your future relationships.


Embrace Personal Growth

Use this opportunity to reconnect with yourself and rediscover your passions. Reflect on the lessons learned from the relationship and focus on personal growth. Engage in activities that foster self-improvement, such as reading inspiring books, attending workshops, or learning new skills. Set goals for yourself and work towards them.

Embracing personal growth not only enhances self-esteem but also helps you build a fulfilling life independent of a romantic relationship. By investing in your personal development, you can transform the pain of the breakup into an opportunity for self-discovery and a brighter future.

Spot Your Ex's Negatives

There is a tendency to remember your ex for the good qualities and the things that we are really going to miss. That's skews the perception for them.

It might seem harsh or even cruel to look back at a happy time in your relationship and pinpoint the bad moments. But it's actually a healthy way to help realize why you and your ex were not working. It helps you understand that you were not meant to be with each other and that breaking up was the right decision.

Surround Yourself with Support

You might feel that you've been abandoned (particularly if you have abandonment issues) and that can be tough. So it's important to reach out to your supportive people during this challenging time. Lean on friends and family who can provide a listening ear, advice, or simply companionship. Engage in social activities that help you feel connected; anything from watching movies to listening to your favorite (and not sad) songs.

Consider joining support groups or seeking professional counseling to gain additional guidance and perspective. Surrounding yourself with positive and understanding individuals can offer comfort and aid your healing journey. Their emotional support can provide you with the strength and encouragement needed to move forward and create a new chapter in your life.

Give Yourself Time

Healing after a breakup requires time, patience, and self-compassion. By allowing yourself to grieve, practicing self-care, embracing personal growth, and surrounding yourself with support, you can find solace and renewal.

Remember, healing is a process, and it's essential to be kind to yourself along the way. As you navigate this journey, you'll discover inner strength, wisdom, and the possibility of finding new love and happiness in the future. Embrace the healing journey and embrace the opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery that lies ahead. You'll soon gain the confidence to seek out future relationships.

How Long Does It Take to Get Over a Breakup?

This answer varies on a wide range of factors, including how long you were together, the intimacy of the relationship, how it deteriorated, and who ended the relationship.

For some people, they breeze through it because they feel relief and happines being out the relationship (particularly if there was issues of trust and infidelity). Some struggle to get through it because they can't accept it's happened or happening.

There is no time frame in which you'll get over a breakup. It takes time, self-reflection, and a strong mindset. That last point is crucial: if you use the tips above, you'll be more likely to move past your breakup.

How can you tell you're moving on? There are some signs to look out for.

Signs You're Healing From a Breakup

Here are signs that you're moving past the breakup and looking towards the future:

However, if you are struggling to move past a breakup, divorce, or separation, it might help to turn towards professional help.

Get the Professional Support You Need to Heal From a Breakup

When you start at The Personal Development School, you’ll get access to our complete course catalog of online courses dedicated to helping you heal from heartbreak, embrace new chapters, and break your relationship patterns to attract the right partners and welcome healthy, long-lasting love the next time you enter a relationship.

Start your healing with our How to Heal From a Breakup & Transform Grief course. It's the best place to start.

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