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Here’s Your Healthy Relationship Checklist for 2023


Reading time:

5 min


Published on:

Thu Nov 02 2023


Last updated:

Thu Apr 25 2024


Written by:

The Personal Development School

It’s safe to say most of us want healthier relationships, especially if those relationships are with a romantic partner.

Often, it can be hard to understand where, exactly, the issues in your relationship are coming from—and this is especially true if you don’t have a secure attachment style.

That's why undertaking a relationship checklist can be fruitful to determine where you need to improve in your relationship and how.

That's the focus of today's blog:

  • What is a relationship checklist
  • Why have one
  • What to include in your relationship checklist
  • And how often you need to do

What is a Relationship Checklist?

A relationship checklist is a list that helps partners assess the health, status, and compatibility of their romantic relationship. The list should include items that relate to values, behaviors, goals, needs, and deal-breakers.

That being said, it can often be hard to check off all these items if you have an insecure attachment style, which is where The Personal Development School can help with our All-Access Pass.

There will be different opinions on some things on the list due to different attachment styles. A dismissive avoidant will have a different outlook compared to an anxious preoccupied.

But that shouldn't be a concern; it's just that you have to focus and work harder on building and strengthening the relationship together.

Why Have a Relationship Checklist?

A healthy relationship checklist can be a helpful way to take a long, hard look at any of the issues coming up in your relationship so you can begin to work toward a healthier, happier relationship with your partner.

The more you do it, the better off you can reassess where your relationship lies and what you have to do to improve it.

But what should you include on your checklist?

Here are 11 “checklist” items.


11 Items to Add to Your Healthy Relationship Checklist

1) Effective communication.

Healthy relationships prioritize open and empathetic communication. This means actively listening to your partner, expressing your thoughts and feelings honestly, and addressing issues together through constructive conversations. Effective communication builds trust, understanding, and emotional intimacy.

Effective communication doesn’t involve just words but also non-verbal cues like body language and tone of voice. It's essential for resolving conflicts, sharing joy, and ensuring both partners feel heard and valued.

2) Trust and honesty. Trust is the bedrock of a healthy relationship. It involves being reliable, keeping promises, and being truthful with each other. Honesty and transparency are critical for maintaining trust. Without trust, a relationship may suffer from insecurity and anxiety.

Healthy partners are open about their feelings and actions, creating a safe space where vulnerability and intimacy can thrive. Trust allows for a deeper emotional connection and the ability to rely on one another in times of need.

3) Respect. Respect is fundamental in any healthy relationship. When you and your partner have respect for each other, that means you value each other's opinions, boundaries, and autonomy. Healthy partners respect each other's choices, even when they differ, and treat each other with kindness and consideration.

When respect is present, it fosters a sense of equality and mutual appreciation, contributing to a harmonious and loving partnership where both individuals feel valued and understood.

4) Support and empathy. Healthy relationships involve providing emotional support, understanding, and empathy to one another, as partners should be there for each other during both the joys and challenges of life. Offering a shoulder to lean on and showing genuine care and compassion strengthens the emotional bond and creates a sense of security and trust within the relationship.

5) Quality time. Spending meaningful, quality time together strengthens the emotional connection between partners. Shared experiences, whether through shared hobbies, date nights, or simple moments of togetherness, create important memories and foster intimacy.

Quality time allows partners to deepen their connection, maintain a strong emotional bond, and continue to learn and grow together as a couple.

6) Individual growth. Healthy relationships encourage personal growth and self-development. Partners support each other's aspirations and provide space for individual pursuits.

A sense of autonomy and personal fulfillment complements the shared journey of the relationship, allowing both individuals to thrive both as a couple and as individuals.

7) Conflict resolution skills. Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, but how they’re handled can make or break it. Healthy partners have effective conflict resolution skills, which include compromise, active listening, and finding solutions together without resorting to hurtful behavior or silent treatment.

By addressing conflicts constructively and with respect, couples can grow stronger through adversity and prevent unresolved issues from festering and causing long-term damage.

8) Shared values and goals. Partnerships thrive when there is alignment in values and long-term goals. Discussing and working toward shared aspirations creates a sense of purpose and direction, ensuring that both individuals are on the same page regarding their future together.

Shared values and goals provide a roadmap for the relationship and help maintain a sense of unity and commitment.

9) Intimacy and affection. Physical and emotional intimacy is essential in a healthy relationship. Regular expressions of love, affection, and intimacy, whether through cuddling, kisses, or meaningful gestures, nurture the bond between partners and keep the romantic spark alive.

10) Financial compatibility. Financial issues can be a significant source of stress in a relationship. Healthy couples discuss and plan their finances together, ensuring that they are on the same page regarding budgeting, spending, and saving.

Being financially compatible means being open about financial goals and responsibilities, and making decisions as a team to avoid money-related conflicts.

11) Boundaries and autonomy. Healthy relationships respect individual boundaries and autonomy. Each partner should have the space to pursue their interests, spend time with friends and family, and maintain their sense of self outside of the relationship.

Establishing and respecting boundaries ensures that both individuals have the freedom to grow and maintain a healthy balance between their personal lives and their lives as a couple. You'll become more secure with yourselves and each other.


How Often Should We Conduct a Relationship Checklist?

The overall idea of the relationship checklist is to check in with your partner to see how they're feeling about the relationship.

So, when it comes to "how often should we have a relationship check-in?", it varies from couple to couple.

Some couples do it weekly to keep everything on their toes. Some do it monthly after a period of making changes. Some do it sporadically, while others do it yearly to get full scope.

It all depends on what works for your relationship, partner, and lifestyle.

But the most important thing is to have the conversation to start it!

Feel free to go through these alone or with your partner. With open communication and the proper support (The Personal Development School courses are a great place to start), you’ll find yourself in a happier relationship in no time.

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