Attachment Style and Inferiority Complex: Signs, Causes & How to Overcome It

Many of us carry a quiet and often painful belief that we’re "not good enough" compared to others.

Do you know the feeling?

Do you feel that no matter how hard you try, you're always falling short in relationships or at work? Do you always feel inadequate, deficient, or inferior to others?

This isn't just self-doubt, impostor syndrome, or a lack of self-belief. It's a little deeper.

This is the hallmark of the inferiority complex, and it can shape everything about how we approach and connect with others. 

In this blog, we’ll explain the inferiority complex, where it comes from, and how it relates to your attachment style.

Most importantly, you’ll learn how to start changing this part of yourself so you can thrive in life. 

• What Is an Inferiority Complex?
• What Causes an Inferiority Complex?
• Inferiority Complex and Attachment Theory
• Signs You May Have an Inferiority Complex
• The Impact on Relationships and Self-Worth
• Practical Tools for Healing

What is an Inferiority Complex?

An inferiority complex is more than low self-confidence. It is a deeply rooted and persistent belief that you’re fundamentally less valuable, capable, or worthy than others, accompanied by feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. These beliefs and feelings can be either a real deficiency or an imagined one.

It has a profound impact on your relationship and personality patterns and behaviors, including emotional and physical withdrawal, excessive competition, or aggression.

Alfred Adler coined the term, which develops when we experience repeated feelings of inadequacy that become internalized and start shaping our identity.

These beliefs can take root so deeply that they become automatic until we recognize and heal them.

However, there is a key difference between an inferiority complex and other occasional feelings of inferiority, according to psychologist James E. Maddux, PhD.

While most of us struggle with these moments—failing to complete life goals, being stuck in an unhappy relationship, or watching friends or family succeed—we deal with them ourselves, get help, and take proactive steps.

"But if you have an inferiority complex...you call yourself names, lament your shortcomings, and believe that your intense self-criticism is reasonable. Just when your self-esteem is most fragile, you attack it even further. This cycle is so deeply rooted that it consistently holds you back personally and professionally."

Primary vs. Secondary Inferiority Complex

There are two types of inferiority complexes based on the origins and experiences in which they develop.

• Primary inferiority is rooted in early childhood experiences and relationships. Similar to attachment styles, if you were heavily criticized by family or friends, were ignored, or grew up being compared to others, you might start to believe that you're inadequate.
• Secondary inferiority stems from later inactions in life, where you fail to meet unrealistic standards or achieve highly desirable personal goals. More so, even when you succeed, it never feels like “enough.”

Inferiority vs. Situational Insecurity

We touched on this above regarding how we all experience moments of insecurity and doubt. But our reaction greatly differs if we have an inferiority complex or not.

Let's look at two examples below:

• Situational insecurity** is tied to specific moments where we feel self-doubt and insecurity. Primary examples include first dates, preparing for a work presentation, or playing a team sport.
• Inferiority insecurity is a constant hum in the background, regardless of the situation. You always feel "you’re not enough".

Examples:

• Situational: You feel anxious before a first date.
• Inferiority: You believe you’re a failure and don't deserve to be in love or have relationships.

What Causes an Inferiority Complex?

Inferiority doesn’t just appear out of nowhere; it's programmed in your subconscious mind and can start at a young age or develop later in life.

Here are some of the most common causes of inferiority complexes:

Childhood experiences and early parent or caregiver behavior can lay the groundwork for feelings of inadequacy. If you are emotionally neglected, criticized, or compared to others (be it family or friends), the seeds of doubt start to build.

Unstable environments or experiencing family conflict at a young age can lead to situations of inadequacy. Some examples include being stuck in a divorce, traumatic events like bullying, or physical or psychological limitations (real or imagined)

Personality traits are another factor to consider. Perfectionism (“If I can be perfect, maybe I’ll finally be worthy”), negative self-talk ("I can't believe I can't get into a relationship"), or fear of failure ("I can't do this, I'm a fraud") are some traits can reinforce this complex.  

Societal and cultural influences have a profound impact on people's self-belief. Comparing yourself to others on social media, societal standards of beauty, success, and status, and negative experiences (professional or personal) are things to be wary of. Another one to note is social disadvantages or discrimination.

Attachment wounds, especially feeling unloved or unworthy. These wounds play a massive role in how we see ourselves as we learn to equate our worth with performance, behavior, or compliance. They also form our attachment style, which has a lasting impact on everything from our beliefs and patterns in relationships to our love. 

What is Your Attachment Style?
Take our 5-minute quiz to discover your attachment style so you can begin healing your inferiority complex.

Inferiority Complex and Attachment Theory: How They’re Linked

Our early relationships with our parents and caregivers shape how we feel about ourselves and whether we believe we’re worthy of love, support, and success.

If you had positive, nurturing, consistent, and emotionally safe relationships, you would develop the belief that you are worthy enough and secure.

On the other hand, if those were inconsistent, emotionally neglectful, or conditional, you would quietly plant the seed for feelings of inferiority.

This is where attachment theory becomes such a powerful tool for understanding our inner world.

It offers a roadmap to trace these patterns of why we might feel inadequate and how that inadequacy ripples through every area of life back to its source.

How Attachment Styles Influence Self-Worth

If you grew up with inconsistent, critical, or emotionally unavailable parents or caregivers, you may have developed beliefs like:

• “I’m not good enough.”
• “I have to earn love.”
• “There’s something wrong with me.”

These aren’t just passing thoughts; they become ingrained in our subconscious mind. In essence, these mental blueprints shape how we interpret other people’s behavior, how we navigate emotional intimacy, and how we talk to ourselves.

These beliefs are noticeable in the insecure attachment styles: Anxious Preoccupied, Dismissive Avoidant, and Fearful Avoidant. However, how they present themselves is different for each of them.

How Different Attachment Styles Express Inferiority

Attachment Style	How Inferiority Shows Up
Anxious Preoccupied	You constantly seek reassurance, fear abandonment, and often feel “too much.” Your inferiority is expressed through clinginess, self-blame, and jealousy when needs aren’t met.
Dismissive Avoidant	You appear confident or emotionally detached, but hide deep feelings of unworthiness. Your inferiority is masked by independence, rationalizing, or overachievement.
Fearful Avoidant	You’re torn between craving closeness and pushing people away. Worse, you have a chaotic self-image: both “never enough” and “too much” while struggling with low self-worth and fear of being seen.

Signs You May Have an Inferiority Complex

Here are common ways an inferiority complex can show up in your everyday life and relationships. Let's take a look at them below:

• Negative and Harsh Self-Talk – Constantly putting yourself down in your mind, saying things like “I’m so stupid,” “I always mess things up,” or “No one likes me" are key signs that you might be dealing with this complex.
• Overcompensation – Going above and beyond in aspects of your life to prove that you're worthy. Examples can include being perfect in relationships, overworking in your job, or tying your worth to success.
• People-Pleasing – Saying yes to everything that is put in front of you just to feel accepted, even when it exhausts you or goes against your own needs.
• Fear of Failure – You avoid challenges so you won’t be “exposed” as inadequate or an impostor. You might notice this when you procrastinate, underachieve, or stay in your comfort zone.
• Hypersensitivity – You feel crushed or defeated by small comments or feedback, whether in your personal or professional life. You may ruminate for days on them that others would brush off.
• Social Withdrawal – Avoiding connection or social exposure to protect your ego. You may pull away from others out of fear that others will see your perceived flaws.

The Impact of Inferiority Complex on Relationships and Self-Worth

When you carry inferiority around, it filters through in every aspect of your life, particularly your relationships and self-worth.

No matter how much love, respect, or opportunity is around you, you still believe that you don't deserve it. Below is how this level of inferiority impacts you:

Relationship Impact

• Chronic people-pleasing: You put people on a pedestal and do anything to please them. In reality, you're just draining yourself, being unseen, or becoming resentful.
• Over-apologizing or clinging to partners: You may constantly try to "make up" for your perceived flaws in your relationships, which reinforces your inferiority complex even further.
• Sabotaging healthy connections: When you feel “unlovable,” intimacy with your partner can feel unsafe, insecure, and challenging, even when it’s good.
• Emotional shutdown: Vulnerability feels risky when you believe you're fundamentally "not enough." Therefore, you withdraw, keep people at a distance, or struggle to express your true feelings.

Self-Worth in Daily Life

• Difficulty accepting compliments: Whether out in public, in relationships, or at work, you dismiss kind words or assume people are not being sincere.
• Overachievement as a form of self-validation: You become fixated on achieving unrealistic goals, but even if you complete them, it never feels enough.
• Persistent comparison: You constantly measure your value against other people — their looks, success, relationships — and almost always feel like you come up short.
• Shutdown in professional settings: Fear of being exposed as "incompetent" can lead to you avoiding opportunities or hiding your ideas.
• Low self-esteem: You consistently believe that you don’t deserve anything or can’t achieve anything you set your mind to. 

Left unaddressed, these patterns can lead to burnout, anxiety, depression, or a persistent feeling of “just getting by.”

But awareness is the first step toward change.

Practical Tools to Heal Inferiority Through Attachment Work

You've already taken the first step to healing: acknowledging that you might have an inferiority complex.

Now you can begin taking action to shift your mindset and patterns.

Step 1: Build Awareness Around Core Beliefs

Unveil the extent of your complex by identifying your “inferiority narrative”. Ask yourself:

• What do you say to yourself when you feel good enough?
• Where did this belief come from?
• Is it really true?

Track these beliefs back to early relational patterns or moments of rejection or neglect in your childhood and life.

Step 2: Start Reparenting Work

Now, it's time to get proactive by reparenting yourself. This means giving yourself the needs you missed out on in childhood.

In this case, it means building your self-confidence back so that you can do anything you set your mind to and that "you're enough." You can do this by:

• Journalling
• Trying visualization techniques
• Using reprogramming tools
• Applying self-worth-focused meditation

Ready to Start Healing?
Our Reparenting Your Inner Child to Transcend Attachment Trauma Behaviors course can help you reparent your subconscious mind related to any attachment traumas from childhood or in your adult relationships.

Step 3: Practice Boundary-Setting and Emotional Expression

To recognize that you're worthy, you have to start giving yourself time to embrace yourself. You can do that by practicing setting boundaries without feeling guilty.

Here's how you can do it and justify it:

• Start small: Decline a request at work, ask for help from a friend or family, or share your opinion.
• Express your feelings: Even if it feels uncomfortable at first, you’re allowed to express what you genuinely need and why.

Let’s Build Those Boundaries Together…
Take our Setting Boundaries to End Compulsive People-Pleasing & Create Authentic Connections course to finally learn how to create thriving relationships without resentment, exhaustion, or distress.

Step 4: Build Secure Attachment Within Yourself

By becoming securely attached, you develop the self-belief that you can handle anything in your relationship or professional life. You'll learn to tackle things not with fear but with clarity and calmness.

Here is how you can become secure:

• Identify your attachment style and relationship patterns by journaling your reactions and beliefs to inferiority situations.
• Challenge the story you tell yourself. For example, turn "I’m not worthy of a healthy relationship" to "I truly deserve love."
• Practice vulnerability by expressing your true feelings and needs, even when it’s difficult.
• Self-soothe when you're triggered. Try grounding techniques, breathwork, or gentle movement to bring your mind and body into calmness.
• Practice self-compassion by showing yourself love and respect. Do things you love and meet people who bring you joy.  

Remember: you don’t have to do it all at once. Just start with what feels accessible. Each slight shift builds momentum.

You’re Learning to See Yourself Clearly — Now, Keep Healing 

If you’ve ever felt “not enough,” there’s a good chance that feeling didn’t start with you: it was something you learned in your childhood or environment where love felt conditional or unavailable.

But here’s the truth: you’re not less. You’ve just been seeing yourself through the lens of old pain, outdated narratives, and survival-based patterns.

Healing doesn’t happen overnight. The fact that you’re here reading this means you’re already on the path.

Just remember to be gentle and consistent. And above all, know this: you can rewrite your story.

👉 Begin Healing with Our Strengthening Self-Worth Bundle, Designed for You

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