What is Self-Doubt & How to Overcome It

Do you ever have those lingering feelings or persistent shadow that you can’t just achieve something? It also looms over your beliefs, actions, thoughts, and decisions. 

That is self-doubt.

And everyone gets it. 

Unfortunately, many people handle it in a way that doesn’t address the core issues, basically pushing their self-doubt further into their own void. Many are just unsure of how to confront it. 

This blog aims to unravel the complexities of self-doubt, exploring its causes, how people cope with it, and some easy strategies for overcoming it.

Firstly… 

What Exactly is Self-Doubt?

In pure dictionary terms, self-doubt is “a lack of faith in oneself; a feeling of doubt or uncertainty about one's abilities, actions, etc.” 

It’s mostly present in those moments when a person has internal insecurities about their abilities, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, or decisions to complete a task, challenge, or do "something".

It manifests as an inside voice that questions one’s competence, undermines confidence, and makes people second-guess their choices in life. 

While there is nothing wrong with some self-doubt — as it’s a great way to build a growth mindset and motivation — when it becomes embedded in someone’s mindset, it can lead to terrible outcomes.

These can include anxiety, indecision, regrets, and avoiding challenges, impacting both personal and professional lives and relationships.

The thing is most people tend to manage their self-doubt on their own, but it can disguised as something else.

Let’s take a look at some of the ways people deal (or cover-up) their self-doubt. 

How People Deal with Self-Doubt

Individuals respond to self-doubt in various ways. 

The most common reaction is to push through their uncertainty and use it as motivation to embrace personal growth. For others, they withdraw or avoid situations where their abilities, beliefs, or characteristics might be questioned or challenged. 

And some people use the following coping mechanisms to cover their insecurities: 

Being “Perfect”: Perfection doesn’t exist, but people with self-doubt try to become perfect to eliminate their self-doubt. They believe that if they are flawless, both in their abilities and in their appearance, their self-worth will be validated.

Self-Sabotage: Also known as self-handicapping, this mechanism involves people using substances (such as drugs, alcohol, and yes, even procrastination) or their habits and behaviors to blame anything else apart from their themselves. However, this actually leads people to develop a vicious cycle of even more self-doubt. 

Seeking Validation: Many people with low confidence or self-esteem are constantly trying to get reassurance from friends, family, or colleagues to squash their doubts. This reliance on external affirmation doesn’t heal the root cause, instead focusing it elsewhere. 

Being an Overachiever: This strategy involves going “above and beyond” to ensure success. A tremendous amount of effort is put into it, but the satisfaction usually comes from external sources (like being acknowledged at work or with a promotion).

Imposter Syndrome: We’ve probably all heard or experienced this in the past. This syndrome involves doubting yourself for a particular situation or job, believing that “you're not as talented or worthy as others believe, and you're scared that one day, people will realize that.” The root behind this is that our success is based on luck, timing, or connections. 

Avoidance: We touched on this above. Avoidance is the process of avoiding situations or opportunities where we worry that we’ll get “exposed” or suffer an unpleasant experience. This defensive strategy can have a drastic impact on our personal and professional growth (like sticking to a job for a long time) because we miss out on chances to challenge ourselves to become better in whatever way we want to. 

Self-Criticism: Many people with self-doubt also struggle with low self-esteem. That can be seen in negative self-talk, poor self-perception, and a lack of motivation, further entrenching their insecurities.

While these coping mechanisms can temporarily relieve self-doubts, they don’t address the core roots of the issue. That’s why it’s important to acknowledge what causes self-doubt and how to overcome it. 

What Causes Self-Doubt?

Understanding the roots of self-doubt can help individuals address it more effectively. The main drivers of most of these issues are fears, negative experiences, and comparisons. 

The “fear” comes from the belief that it’s impossible to achieve or meet expectations, whether self-imposed or external (like work-related, social, or cultural). The trickle effect is that it places the person in a position where they are unwilling to try new situations or roles because they worry they'll experience failure. 

This fear of failure usually originates in an environment where self-confidence wasn’t embraced (or completely rejected), where abilities were constantly questioned, and where negative feedback was common.

These “negative experiences” of past failures or criticisms can leave lasting scars, and with their confidence so shattered, they no longer have the motivation to go above and beyond. These negative experiences can occur in childhood (which is one factor in developing insecure attachment styles), school, social situations, or in the workplace. Other situations can include traumatic events, toxic relationships, or painful memories.

Finally, there is the innate, natural response of “comparing ourselves” to others. Someone with a lot of self-doubts has a profound subconscious pattern of constantly comparing themselves to other people. Social media and societal standards can lead to unhealthy comparisons, fueling feelings of inadequacy and a need to have desirable personal qualities.

In many cases, as mentioned above, this desire that one must be perfect can create an unrealistic standard, leading to constant self-doubt.

Now that we know the origins of self-doubt, it’s time to examine healthy ways to overcome it.  

Watch this short for 3 thought-provoking questions to ask yourself!

6 Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt

Overcoming self-doubt is a journey that requires self-awareness and proactive strategies. Here are 6 effective strategies to combat your self-doubt:

Acknowledge Your Relationship to Yourself: Take the time to check in with the critical areas of your life that you’re struggling with self-doubt, such as career, relationships, mental, physical, and spiritual. 

Reflect on each area to determine where you need to show up more in your relationship with yourself, which means giving the time for yourself. This will help you understand the areas and to feel your feelings where you want to create healthier patterns.

Reprogram Your Thoughts: The idea here is to recognize the negative thoughts about yourself (“I can’t do this”) and question them with a positive affirmation. 

For this example, it would be “Yes, I can do this!”. This will take some time, but it’s a powerful tool that will fuel positive growth and mindsets.

Remember to accept that mistakes and the negative thoughts that come with them are part of growth and learning.

Self-Compassion Practices: Having compassion for yourself, your actions, and, yes, mistakes can be a powerful way to continue going. You can do this by thinking of a mistake you made recently and noticing what you were thinking or believing the moment before making that error. 

Then, peel back the layers to understand why you thought or acted this way and how you can change. 

Practice taking ownership of your mistakes while simultaneously working to understand yourself, your root causes, and how you can meet those needs to make you embrace compassion.

Set Realistic Goals While Reflecting on Achievements: Too often, people fail to recognize what they’ve achieved in the past, which impacts their ability to set realistic goals. 

This method involves taking the time to look back on your past successes to remind yourself of your capabilities, how you overcame unexpected challenges to achieve things, and how you’re still as strong as ever. 

This should give you a clear path to visualize success and set goals into manageable steps to reduce overwhelm and gradually build confidence.

And when you do achieve something, regardless of how small, make sure to celebrate it! Acknowledgement builds momentum.

Limit Comparisons: Given the power of the media, this is a difficult strategy to use, but anyone can do it.

It involves focusing on your journey and shutting off the noise around you. That means limiting exposure to social media, toxic environments, and, yes, even toxic people. Surround yourself with positive influences so you can embrace yourself and your goals for life. 

Embrace Feedback & Growth: Not every time someone tells you something, it's criticism. Sometimes, it’s generally meant for your betterment. That’s why it’s important, when the opportunity arises, to view constructive criticism as an opportunity for growth rather than a reflection of your worth. 

It’s a chance for you to embrace the idea that growth is a lifelong process and allow yourself to learn from experiences. This change in approach can help you develop greater self-competence, less stress about depression about any feedback, and embrace self-discovery and your full potential. 

Summary of Self-Doubt

• Self-doubt is the lack of confidence in one’s abilities and decisions. 
• People deal with self-doubt through being “perfect”, seeking validation, avoidance, and imposter syndrome. 
• Self-doubt is primarily caused by fear of failure, negative experiences or events, and social comparisons to others. 
• You can overcome self-doubt through acknowledgment of the relationship with yourself, reprogramming your thoughts, and embracing feedback and growth. 

If you want to really boost your confidence and change how you view yourself, sign up for our Rebuilding the Relationship to Yourself Course.

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